The Surprising Reason Why Autumn is the Best Time for Deepening Friendships
- robert porter
- Nov 14, 2023
- 3 min read

Autumn, with its crisp air and kaleidoscope of colours, is often seen as a prelude to the solitude of winter. Yet, this season holds an unexpected gift - the perfect opportunity to nurture and deepen our friendships.
Embracing the Season of Connection
Autumn's reflective mood naturally inclines us towards thoughts of relationships and community. Professor Robin Dunbar, an evolutionary psychologist at the University of Oxford, has extensively researched social connections. He emphasizes the importance of shared experiences in bonding, which autumn generously provides with its unique array of activities and natural beauty.
This inclination towards community during the cooler months is not just a cultural phenomenon but is deeply rooted in our evolutionary history. As our ancestors prepared for the harsher winter months, strengthening communal ties was crucial for survival.
The Warmth of Shared Experiences
The season is ripe with opportunities for creating shared experiences that forge stronger bonds. Be it pumpkin carving, apple picking, or enjoying the autumn foliage, these activities are more than mere seasonal pastimes. They foster camaraderie and closeness.
In her book "Friendfluence," Carlin Flora explores the profound impact friends have on our lives. She notes that shared experiences, especially those involving new challenges or adventures, significantly deepen friendships. This autumn, exploring new activities with friends can create lasting memories and strengthen bonds.
The Magic of Autumn Evenings
Autumn evenings have a unique charm - the crackling of a bonfire, the smoky scent of wood, and the cosiness of gathering close for warmth. These settings often lead to deeper, more meaningful conversations, enhancing the sense of closeness.
According to Dr. John Cacioppo, a pioneer in the field of social neuroscience, intimate settings and relaxed environments facilitate open, heartfelt conversations, thereby deepening social connections. The serene ambiance of autumn evenings provides the perfect backdrop for such interactions.
The Power of Gratitude and Reflection
This season is also a time for gratitude and reflection, emotions that can strengthen social bonds. Expressing appreciation for friends and shared moments enhances the quality of these relationships.
Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading expert on gratitude research, has found that expressing gratitude strengthens relationships. When we acknowledge and appreciate our friends, it not only boosts our happiness but also fortifies the bond of friendship.
Nurturing Friendships Beyond Autumn
The practices we adopt in autumn - shared experiences, gratitude, and intimate gatherings - can and should extend beyond the season. They are valuable in nurturing our friendships throughout the year, enhancing our overall well-being and social connectivity.
Conclusion: A Season of Friendship
As we embrace the beauty of autumn, let's also recognize its potential as a season for deepening friendships. In turn, autumn's capacity to improve our mental health is beyond question because social interaction and the nurturing of our friends is undoubtedly an important ingredient in improving and nourishing our mental health.
So, it's a time to come together, share experiences, and express gratitude. So, light a fire, gather with friends, and cherish the warmth of these connections. Autumn is not just a prelude to winter's solitude; it's a celebration of friendship.
(References:
Dunbar, Robin. (2010). How Many Friends Does One Person Need? Dunbar's Number and Other Evolutionary Quirks. Faber & Faber.
Flora, Carlin. (2013). Friendfluence: The Surprising Ways Friends Make Us Who We Are. Doubleday.
Cacioppo, John. (2008). Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection. W. W. Norton & Company.
Emmons, Robert A. (2007). Thanks!: How the New Science of Gratitude Can Make You Happier. Houghton Mifflin Harcourt.)
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